Three top surgeons were standing at the bar at a conference, pissed
out of their skulls, relating their greatest surgical achievements to
each other.

The first, from Ireland, said, "This farmer got caught up in a combine
harvester.  All that was left of him was his left finger.  They stuck
it in a bag, brought it to my hospital, and we reconstructed a hand,
cloned a body and added a head.  He was back to work in 5 weeks and he
was so efficient he put four men out of work"

"Thats nothing", said the second surgeon, from New York. "There was
this nuclear accident at a reactor near here, and a worker was
vapourised all except for a strand of hair.  They sent it to us, and
we genetically added a head, constructed a body and finally rebuilt
his torso.  He was back to work in 3 weeks and was so efficient he put
20 men out of work."

The London surgeon was completely unimpressed.  "I was walking down
the street one day,", he said, "and I smelt this fart.  I put it in a
bag, took it to my hospital, and added an arse.  My team then
constucted a body, and christened him Norman Lamont.  HE was so
fucking efficient he put the whole country out of work!"